I did what I thought was going to be a great thing because I have so many connections on facebook. I put an album of work together. Then three days later they decide they own the work. Now they don't... again. How long that will last I don't know. But there it is.
Why wouldn'ti put it here? Good question. Let me see if I can articulate the answer.
YOU: Huh? That makes no sense.
YOU: I'm waiting.
ME: Um... (looks for help from the sides) Well, it's like this. I am an artist. Have always been. I've never made money at it. Don't know that I have too. But part of me thinks that I am not really an artist if I don't make money at it.
YOU: Soooooo....(taps foot, scrunches face)
ME: So... um... well, MIchelle says art is to be shared money or not. Bro says nothing is worth doing if it doesn't get you cash. I don't know who I believe.
YOU: You suk.
And that is how ambivalence works in my head. It comes down to needing to decide who I believe, why I care and who has my best interest at heart. But then... it also depends on me. I have to make some decision about how I am to interpret myself, when I will believe in me, believe my own convictions. When I will cease to suck.