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Tuesday, January 20, 2015


My best friend died last night. He's been sick for a long time, rallying after setbacks that came far too frequently. His body just couldn't anymore. With all the changes that have happened this year, art is taking a backseat to other aspects of life. Shayne's passing will be another opportunity to re-evaluate and revise my own plans while I try to deal with the fact that the most significant influence in my life these last 7 years, the reason I kept blogging when I wanted to give up, is no longer with me.

He hasn't been well enough to comment on the Geek blog in almost a year. It's been 9 months since he posted anything himself. And to be honest, his decreased participation has taken a little of the joy out of blogging.

So for a while I will have to put aside somethings, including AOG Studios, while I try to learn a new identity.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Relief Regarding Creative Anxiety

Not a Richter but it has a similar feel. I've been
wondering what it would take to render my digital
works on canvas... if I would even know how. 
I am watching a German language documentary on Gerhard Richter. They are trying to film his creative process and it is messing him all up. He is a quiet person, reserved in public and not the kind of guy who can lecture. Which is what it seems the documentary director wants him to do. He just wants to paint. But things are not going well for him with this series that he is creating.

He talks to the camera person about it. He articulates the feelings that I have about performing sketch or painted art. What happens when you are watched is that you do not work with the same freedom of expression. To the artist this shows in the work and in the heart. Those observing do not see the conflict growing within the artist. It changes the work. He and his work are the quanta. The more they are observed the more they change. Unlike the quanta, the artist can refuse to be observed.

He is a quiet man and seems a bit terrified to even be at his show in the Nation Portrait Gallery in London. Portraits are not his sole production. I rather do like his modern atmospheric paintings. They seem like giant monoprints.  But I know they are not; paint and a squeegee with instinct made those works.

He works without a plan and works until it is done. I watch him and I see in his face when a piece is complete. But I could not tell you which of the painting's qualities he considered to be the key to a successful painting. And he could not tell the documentarist. I relate to this method. And I see things in the work that I would consider the benchmark of success. But I will never know that he and I see the same things. At some point he says that the painter and the viewer have to have only one thing in common, and that is to know that a painting is good of its own merit. He did not say that we would have to agree on what made it good.

I am finding quite a lot in this that is very helpful to me in a an aesthetic, spiritual way though nothing practical in his methods as Richter and I do not have a similar style. I do believe that we have a similar temperament. He was a serious child. A serious teen and a mature art student who though that the boy who whistled at his easel was working too hard to enjoy his own works. Richter believes that one must always look on one's work with a critical eye. Really, how else will you know if you are on the right track?  It was when he was asked about his relationship to his mother and her own mature personality that made him such as he is.

He said that "You don't want to believe your parents And you can see through them pretty good." 

Which seems to fly in the face of what most people would assume to be true. Most of the world says that we want to believe in our parents and that a good deal of our issues with reality is the extreme disappointment we feel when the reality that our parents helped to mold dissolves painfully or dramatically when we experience the world outside of the home. I was one of those kids as well. I wanted to believe some things that I was told. But there were things that I fought to disbelieve. The things that I know in my soul are true, the things that I could trust because the heart never really lies to you as it has no need to be placated, those things I fought to hold on to. I disbelieved a good many things I was told and yet was very gullible about others. I do wish that they has asked him what sorts of things he did not want to believe. A child raised on Goethe is bound to be a serious one. Of course being a Winter baby, an Aquarius, Goethe may have had nothing at all to do with anything.

Nearing the end of the film, I can see where he became more comfortable with observation. Having gotten used to the camera a bit, the cameraman and the questions he approaches the green series for this installation with more certainty. He almost attacks the canvases that were about to give him fits in the beginning stage. Now, as before, when he drags the squeegee it seems if he is pulling a layer of film to reveal the painting. Almost as if unwrapping a present.

Definitely a present.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

a drum roll please.......

So... this is the new color. My first sighting in the wild is the Winter 2015 cover of Artful Blogging by Stampington and Company. This isn't your Gramma's wine color. That was deeply maroon back in the 1970s. Marsala is muted, not very vibrant at all compared with the last 5 years.

I love the cover of the magazine. It is a restful color. The one splash of blue color hints at one of the 7 color schemes pantone has suggested for this new sensation. But....

There is always a but.

But I don't know about it. I suppose it could be a new black with its neutrality. And yet... I just don't see it being a color I am going to like in the long term. Of course I don't have to like every single color that comes along. If I did I would go mad from the choices. I just don't see it mixing with the aubergine I have been collecting. And it is only going to be Christmassy if everything else stays in white, silver and some frosty shade of blue that is nearly white.

of course I could be wrong.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Personal Posters

Picmonkey and Graphicstock are great resources for digital creations. My housemate and I are two days apart and share many laughs about how difficult people find getting along with us to be. And yet... we are the most easy going people. Until we get mad, then look out. Thus... the theme.

At any rate... a few turns with the digital tools and it is not hard to make something pretty. Though the trouble I am having is finding the things when they get saved. Something makes me think that I've really screwed up my computer with the last update. I did a few RA (Richard Armitage) posters and now I can't find them anywhere. Which is weird because I didn't post them online anywhere either.

The one, come to think of it, I might have posted on a friend's timeline to cheer her up. But I can't understand how that could leave my computer. It's weird. And it isn't on her timeline either.

Snow has finally fallen. It's still relaltively early in the season but later than we had snow last year. Hopefully this means that we will be able to have a few extra hours off and I can get back in the creative groove.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Still Learning Macro

While galavanting around the grounds of our public library, I found a tree of maple seeds that were just turning from green to dried up brown. While I struggled with the wind to get the cluster to hold still I made a discovery with the macro setting on my camera. The trick to a good macro had eluded me for a long time. Now I get it. And I have been looking for things to get good close ups and practice the technique. 

Foraging for mushrooms is a great opportunity. I only wish that what we found had been edible. It was either not a good species or past its prime. How annoying. Still, there were plenty of photographic opportunities.

One of my favorites is the copper fern. That was almost already in 3D from my perspective. The lighting after the rain before the sun came out seemed to make everything stand out in relief. This fern was in a sea of green ferns so it had an advantage to standing out. It was gorgeous. 

The coral fungus, which would have been edible if I had seen it a week or two earlier is only about 3 inches tall in real life. In the photo it looks like it could have been a lot bigger... thank you macro. 

And the failure in the group... the lone wild blueberry. It was the only stem of berries I saw. And it was the only berry. For whatever reason the leaves are sharp and well defined but the berry is out of focus. It's almost as if I didn't let the camera adjust and snapped it too early... which is what normally happens.

The maple seeds were from the library trip. THAT is a great photo. I'm still trying to figure out how to duplicate those results. 

Monday, September 8, 2014

Photos and Sketches

Spent the morning at the library with the BF. He did his homework and I spent the morning taking pictures for the Unintended Tour photos. During the shoot I came across a smallish maple dripping heavily with the clusters of helicopter seeds. No better time to practice with the macro setting. 

It was a slightly windy day so there was a a lot of waiting. And while I was waiting for the clusters to quit swinging the camera focused in the macro setting and presto-westo! A perfect macro shot. 

Then there was this gem of a cluster in pink. It took a few minutes to get them to be still but I got my shot. 

Of course there  was still some time to kill. So I sat down across from the BF and started sketching. Totally ruined two micron pens to make it happen. Of course, they were old and weren't going to last much longer anyway. 

And the final result.....

Something totally blog worthy. :)

Friday, July 18, 2014

Digital Mandalas

I've been playing with for a while now. And I am really digging on how versatile this site is. Digital art is fun when there is not a lot of time or space to get out all the goods. I try to make something everyday. But with the day trips that is kinda hard. The mandalas started about two weeks ago. And I am finally starting to get them up on the blog.

And while I am making them I am noticing a theme.... my inner hippie is starting to come out.