Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Begin Again

As I said yesterday... things are on the move. So here is a little photo journaling to help me set my pace again.

This is Smokey. He is my housemate's cat. Gorgeous Norwegian
Forest cat with quite the taste for adventure. On one of the only
warm days we had last week he made an escape that would have
made Lee Marvin proud. After four days of worrying about him
we got him back last night around midnight thirty. This morning
as I was taking updated photos, I also ended up taking instruction.
Show off ;)
Brown suit and a bowtie and that would be a good Dr. Jones

This was to be my quick sketch watercolor Easter Profile pic. I
never did finish it because I was too busy being sick. I had grand
visions of dye ink layers with this. But the more I looked at what
I did finish of it, the more I liked the simplicity; the soft textures,
the complementary color scheme and its bold plainness.
I don't do enough simple work.
I like simple. It is harder to do because every stroke has to be
deliberate. But the effect in the end is really just as stunning as
it would be if I jammed tons of techniques into one work.

Like this one below.
2001 found me sans boyfriend and stuck in a job I liked but
didn't want to do forever. I'd seen him working at his easel
through the window one night on a desperate drive by. He told
me the woman he went back to wouldn't let him paint. But there
he was... living his normal art life. The life he swore he could
only have with me, another artist. And I was pining away like
Anne Shirley over gilbert Blythe!
I went home and immediately cleared the table of the remnants
of the last project before the break up... *mumblecough months
prior. Then I decided to show off. I'd only just learned to do
watercolors a couple of months before we broke up. So I set out
to make the most complicated still life of Things I Have on Hand.
This one had to be complicated even if it failed. I had to have
 something complicated to keep my mind off of him and find my way
 back to being me. I had to move forward or stagnate in a pile of misery
and unwashed sheets. So I used gum Arabic to make the fruit skins
shiny, liquid masking to keep the rind of the melon white and veiny,
and I saturated the background in my new discovery: Perylene Maroon.

I went red with anger. I went red because I wanted to draw blood from
the person who caused such a painful break to my heart and life.
I went red to say that I wasn't going to keep being afraid of being bold.
I stood back and did the right thing, I let him make up his own mind.
I did not fill his ears with ultimatums, temper tantrums; I did not guilt him.
And I thought that he would take that and run with me. I did the right thing.
And he chose poorly.
I knew he did. That did not make me feel better. What made me feel
better was making the choice to speak my mind and not take a
back seat to someone else's manipulations. In a way...
this was my Picard Ahab moment.

I drew a red line in the sand.
I drew blood. Not to maim or kill. Not as a sacrifice.
I drew blood as a talisman to my own strength.


I took a lot of photos this morning as I was evaluating the work that needs to be done to restore these things while they were in storage. It takes a while to edit them to fix my poor photographic skills. Actually it is the lighting. And there is not much at this time I can do about it since I am in the basement. But hey.... at least I am getting stuff done right?

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